Learn From People Who Lived it
Navigating painful life circumstances would be easier if they came with a how-to guide. This podcast writes the book! Our show is all about transformation. Mathew Blades, a seasoned radio and television personality, uses his exceptional interview skills to guide individuals in sharing their challenging stories. With the support of our in-house psychologist and psychiatrist, we explore the patterns and strategies that enabled these individuals to transform their lives from a difficult phase to a thriving one.
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Episodes
Monday Aug 07, 2023
Monday Aug 07, 2023
"If I can't be good, I'll be the best and being bad."
In this episode, you'll hear:
What Lucy’s life was like after her sexual abuse
What her wake-up call was
How getting pregnant at 19 impacted her
In our first conversation with Lucy, we talked about childhood sexual abuse, the importance of setting boundaries, and understanding what is appropriate. In this episode, we discuss her life after she experienced sexual abuse as well as her resulting struggle with drugs and alcohol. It got to the point where she showed up drunk to school and eventually started buying and selling drugs. She tells us at this point, "I was abusing myself." However, after witnessing a graphic incident that happened to a friend of hers, she got the wake-up call she needed. Lucy also says getting pregnant at 19 saved her life because she had to get things in order and face the things she had been hiding from for so long. She and her daughter were able to grow up together. Now, Lucy is finally ready to date again, but she tells us she still can't seem to get it right. One thing she does know is to skip the dating apps, and through this conversation, Mathew may have provided her with a new way to try to connect with someone.
Lucy Alvarez is a first-generation American citizen and a native of Phoenix, Arizona. She is also a survivor of childhood sexual abuse. She tells us she doesn't feel like she is fully on the other side of her trauma, but that she is still working every day to walk in the right direction. Lucy has traveled the world, overcome so much in her life, and is now passionate about sharing her story to help others understand how to set boundaries and be the best version of themselves, even when it gets hard.
"If I can't be good, I'll be the best and being bad."
In this episode, you'll hear:
What Lucy’s life was like after her sexual abuse
What her wake-up call was
How getting pregnant at 19 impacted her
Follow the podcast:
Listen on Apple Podcasts (link: https://apple.co/3s1YH7h)
Listen on iHeart (link: https://ihr.fm/3MEY7FM)
Listen on Spotify (Link: https://spoti.fi/3yMmQCE)
Connect with the guest:
David Leicken, MD - http://ironwoodbehavioralhealth.com/index.html
Resources:
Lucy’s first episode: Surviving Childhood Sexual Abuse, Setting Boundaries, and Fixing Your Picker
Connect with Mathew Blades:
Twitter - twitter.com/MathewBlades
Instagram - instagram.com/MathewBladesmedia/
Facebook - facebook.com/mathewbladesmedia/
Website - learnfrompeoplewholivedit.com/
Additional Credits:
LFPWLI is managed by Sam Robertson
Monday Jul 31, 2023
Monday Jul 31, 2023
Today we wrap up our 4 week series on Intimacy with Dr. Fedrick and today we tackle five questions:
1. My wife and I have settled into a sex routine that is boring, and predictable. How can I present and what can I present to her to shake that up?
2. My husband was sexually abused as a teenage boy and struggles with intimacy as a result. What can I do to help him heal so we can have that optimal relationship?
3. My husband had a hard childhood, now he withdraws a lot. Avoids conversations and just stays busy. What is your advice to approach that conversation so I can support him?
4. My wife is a beautiful woman. I love her, she loves me but we do have a problem. After three kids, she has struggled with her weight. It’s developed into some body image issues and simply put she doesn’t feel pretty anymore and that has impacted our sex life. Is it possible for me to help her understand that I don’t care about the weight, I just want my confident wife back?
5. My husband and I are insanely busy. We have three kids under 6 and they are all in activities and we both work, simply put we don’t have time for intimacy, I’ve heard of people scheduling sex - does that work?
Follow the podcast:
Listen on Apple Podcasts (link: https://apple.co/3s1YH7h)
Listen on iHeart (link: https://ihr.fm/3MEY7FM)
Listen on Spotify (Link: https://spoti.fi/3yMmQCE)
Connect with the guest:
Dr. Elizabeth Fedrick on Instagram
DrElizabethFedrick.com
Resources:
Evolve Counseling on Instagram
Relatable | Relationships Unfiltered Podcast
EvolveCounselingAZ.com
Connect with Mathew Blades:
Twitter - twitter.com/MathewBlades
Instagram - instagram.com/MathewBladesmedia/
Facebook - facebook.com/mathewbladesmedia/
Website - learnfrompeoplewholivedit.com/
Monday Jul 24, 2023
Monday Jul 24, 2023
Week Three - Barriers to Intimacy
Welcome back to week three and this week Mathew and Dr. Elizabeth Fedrick talk about:
How we lose intimacy
The most common struggles
Fears surrounding intimacy &
What if you are hardwired to not receive intimacy because of a trauma?
We'll also break down:
Emotional neglect
Anxious and Avoidance Dance
Non knowing how to express it
What to do if it was never modeled for you
Self-Esteem (how couples can help each other)
Lack of safety (how can I relay that message)
Toss around more compliments
Quote of the podcast, “Stop telling them to go right, tell them you love it when they go left”
Dr. Fedrick and Mathew also explain what they need to feel safe and do so with an exercise you can do yourself.
Follow the podcast:
Listen on Apple Podcasts (link: https://apple.co/3s1YH7h)
Listen on iHeart (link: https://ihr.fm/3MEY7FM)
Listen on Spotify (Link: https://spoti.fi/3yMmQCE)
Connect with the guest:
Dr. Elizabeth Fedrick on Instagram
DrElizabethFedrick.com
Resources:
Evolve Counseling on Instagram
Relatable | Relationships Unfiltered Podcast
EvolveCounselingAZ.com
Running On Empty by Jonice Webb
Brené Brown – The Gifts of Imperfect Parenting
Connect with Mathew Blades:
Twitter - twitter.com/MathewBlades
Instagram - instagram.com/MathewBladesmedia/
Facebook - facebook.com/mathewbladesmedia/
Website - learnfrompeoplewholivedit.com/
Monday Jul 17, 2023
Monday Jul 17, 2023
In week two its all about relational programming. Time to get clear on your triggers. WHY?
You have to understand yourself, then work on things with others. It really doesn't work the other way around. So we will serve up tools like
Check ins
Erotic recovery
Communication Skills
Quote:
“What was once adaptive is now maladaptive”
Plus Dr. Fedrick puts Mathew through and exercise on his "PEOPLE PLEASING."
Here is a link to the Instagram post we talked about
https://www.instagram.com/p/CtFG5rRvaqT/?igshid=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==
Follow the podcast:
Listen on Apple Podcasts (link: https://apple.co/3s1YH7h)
Listen on iHeart (link: https://ihr.fm/3MEY7FM)
Listen on Spotify (Link: https://spoti.fi/3yMmQCE)
Connect with the guest:
Dr. Elizabeth Fedrick on Instagram
DrElizabethFedrick.com
Resources:
Evolve Counseling on Instagram
Relatable | Relationships Unfiltered Podcast
EvolveCounselingAZ.com
Connect with Mathew Blades:
Twitter - twitter.com/MathewBlades
Instagram - instagram.com/MathewBladesmedia/
Facebook - facebook.com/mathewbladesmedia/
Website - learnfrompeoplewholivedit.com/