Learn From People Who Lived it

Part 2: How to Create More Time in Your Day with Cortney McDermott

Part 2: Creating More Time in Your Day with Cortney McDermott
This is part two of three in a series with Cortney McDermott. Cort is a bestselling author, TEDx speaker, and mind-body expert with a Master of Science from the London School of Economics. She speaks four languages and splits her time between Italy and the US. There was a time in her life when it looked like she had it all, but in reality, she was “miserably successful." She had a series of “cold shower moments” where she realized that, despite her accomplishments, she was unhappy. She looked around and saw that it didn't seem like anyone around her was feeling fulfilled. Finding her way out of that space and helping others do the same has become her calling and a new career.
Do you tie your value to your productivity? Do you think being busy gives you self-worth? Do you struggle with time management? Cortney tells us she used to be this person too, until one day, she removed the word “busy” from her vocabulary, flipped her relationship with time, and started to focus on the things that were really important to her, and eventually, it started to feel like time expanded.
For many of us, the chaos starts when we open our eyes, roll over, and grab our cell phones. Cort tells us our brains are most programmable right before we fall asleep and right after we wake up, so avoiding the phone in bed is a small way to make a few minutes of time for ourselves and begin to cultivate stillness. In that stillness, we can access our innate intelligence and begin to see things more clearly. A lot of what we think we need to be doing is just noise. In stillness, we can find honesty that allows us to evaluate what we are spending time on and can actually let go of. In the same way, there are things that only we can do, like spend time with our family. By eliminating the "busyness," you will have more time for the important things.
However, there are seasons in life when we feel the busyness serves us, like when we are expanding in our careers or building a family. Mathew reminds us that while there is a time to turn the volume up to 10, there are also times to lower it back down to 2. As long as you realize that no one but you can control the volume of your life, you will maintain the ability to manage your own time. As many of us know, a task will expand to the time it is allotted, leading to procrastination. By setting realistic yet ambitious timelines for ourselves, we maximize what we can accomplish. No matter what, remember that you always have permission to opt out. Identify the noise and areas where you are giving too much out of a sense of obligation or outside perception, then take back your time. Link new behaviors to existing behaviors, like listening to the audiobook while watching your kids practice or doing wall push-ups each time you go to the bathroom. Experiment with patterns and habits you can associate to make your life easier.
In this episode, you'll hear:
How to be intentional with your days when you are living a “busy” life
Why are stillness and mindfulness so important in the morning?
Opt out and experiment with associating new and existing patterns and habits.
Get LFPWLI Merch here!
Follow the podcast: 
Listen on Apple Podcasts (link: https://apple.co/3s1YH7h) 
Listen on iHeart (link: https://ihr.fm/3MEY7FM) 
Listen on Spotify (Link: https://spoti.fi/3yMmQCE) 
 
Resources:
Everything is Fine, but You Are Still Unhappy: Change Your Mindset with Cortney McDermott
The Pareto principle
Pomodoro Technique
Parkinson's law
 
Connect with the Guest
CortneyMcdermott.com
Cortney on Instagram 
Cortney on LinkedIn
 
Connect with Mathew Blades: 
Twitter - twitter.com/MathewBlades
Instagram - instagram.com/MathewBladesmedia/ 
Facebook - facebook.com/mathewbladesmedia/ 
Website - learnfrompeoplewholivedit.com/
 
Additional Credits:
LFPWLI is managed by Sam Robertson

Part 1: Why You Don’t Have What You Want with Cortney McDermott

Part 1: Why You Don’t Have What You Want with Cortney McDermott
This is part one of three in a series with Cortney McDermott. Cort is a bestselling author, TEDx speaker, and mind-body expert with a Master of Science from the London School of Economics. She speaks four languages and splits her time between Italy and the US. There was a time in her life when it looked like she had it all, but in reality, she was “miserably successful." She had a series of “cold shower moments” where she realized that, despite her accomplishments, she was unhappy. She looked around and saw that it didn't seem like anyone around her was feeling fulfilled either. Finding her way out of that space and helping others do the same has become her calling and a new career.
In this episode, Mathew and Cortney discuss why you feel like you don’t have what you want. While Cort was having her mindfulness meditation one morning in Italy, it hit her: "You're not there yet because there is always somewhere outside of you." Most of us are chasing something outside of ourselves that we think we want and tie our happiness and fulfillment to getting it. However, a common approach, this thinking, will only set you up for failure. The only place to find real fulfillment is inside of ourselves. You are not after the thing. You are after what you think the thing will make you feel.
“You have it all. You have it all. It's right there inside you, and it’s the last place you’ll look.”
To understand your real desires and see that you have the capacity to achieve them already, you have to find stillness and surrender to a chaotic world. Being able to trust yourself is essential to being able to let go of control. Become an observer of life, take a deep breath, and understand that it’s all already changing, whether you want it to or not. Your external environment is changing you, but at the same time, you have agency over your inner environment, which will shape the world around you and your perception of it. “If I am ok with myself, then everything will be ok around me.”
“You're not there yet because there is always somewhere outside you.”
In this episode, you'll hear:
Understanding what we really want is the first step to getting there.
Put effort into your current situation that you would put into moving on.
How to trust yourself more, relax, and go with the flow of life
Get LFPWLI Merch here!
Follow the podcast: 
Listen on Apple Podcasts (link: https://apple.co/3s1YH7h) 
Listen on iHeart (link: https://ihr.fm/3MEY7FM) 
Listen on Spotify (Link: https://spoti.fi/3yMmQCE) 
 
Resources:
Everything is Fine, but You Are Still Unhappy: Change Your Mindset with Cortney McDermott
 
Connect with the Guest
CortneyMcdermott.com
Cortney on Instagram 
Cortney on LinkedIn
 
Connect with Mathew Blades: 
Twitter - twitter.com/MathewBlades
Instagram - instagram.com/MathewBladesmedia/ 
Facebook - facebook.com/mathewbladesmedia/ 
Website - learnfrompeoplewholivedit.com/
 
Additional Credits:
LFPWLI is managed by Sam Robertson

Combating Complacency with James Schlosser

Combating Complacency with James Schlosser
James Schlosser is joining us from Washington, DC, to discuss combating complacency. This topic is important to him because he grew up in poverty and lived in survival mode with a scarcity mindset. He had an issue with his eyes that made reading hard; therefore, school was exhausting and discouraging. Eventually, he went to college without direction on a Pell Grant. During his last semester of school, his father passed away, and that led him to drop out of school and start working in a woodshop with his brother-in-law. He wasn't making enough money at the woodshop, so he pursued a job in sales, and it turns out that was precisely where he was meant to be. Eventually, he had the money, the cars, the house, and the savings, but he couldn't shake the scarcity mindset. James nearly lost it all after becoming a top sales performer due to burnout and complacency. That is when the real soul-searching started for him.
Today, on the other side of that journey, he is a speaker helping people build core values, create a mission, and become intentional. He talks about how complacency leads to burnout, finding your "why," and how to bounce back after losing it all. He has found that focusing on what is essential brings them success in life and manifests success in work and finances.
James says complacency means being too comfortable, getting bored, and losing sight of long-term goals. Complacency can also plague your home and relationships, but by being present, mindful, and grounding ourselves in gratitude, we can be better partners, parents, and people. What if you knew you had only two weeks to live? What would become most important for you? Those things must be your first priority right after you wake up and before you go to bed. Busy lives lead us to make concessions, and eventually, our values and ourselves can get lost in the fog of life. Writing things down helps us stay accountable to ourselves and consistent in the marathon of life. Time blocking, creating boundaries, and prioritizing your values are how we combat complacency. Learning to put work away helps us be present where we are, whether at work, with family, or with friends.
“If you want your life to change, you have to change your life.”
In this episode, you'll hear:
What leads to complacency and a scarcity mindset?
How to tell if you are falling into a rut and how to get out of it.
Practical advice to combat complacency daily
Follow the podcast: 
Listen on Apple Podcasts (link: https://apple.co/3s1YH7h) 
Listen on iHeart (link: https://ihr.fm/3MEY7FM) 
Listen on Spotify (Link: https://spoti.fi/3yMmQCE) 
Get LFPWLI Merch here!
Resources:
JamesSchlosser.com
James Schlosser on LinkedIn
 
Connect with Mathew Blades: 
Twitter - twitter.com/MathewBlades
Instagram - instagram.com/MathewBladesmedia/ 
Facebook - facebook.com/mathewbladesmedia/ 
Website - learnfrompeoplewholivedit.com/
 
Additional Credits:
LFPWLI is managed by Sam Robertson

Youth Sports: What we have done wrong and how to fix it with Luis Fernando Llosa

Youth Sports: What we have done wrong and how to fix it with Luis Fernando Llosa
Luis Fernando Llosa is a Peruvian-Ukrainian-American writer, editor, speaker, investigative reporter, youth sports consultant, and full-time father-coach of his five kids. He started his journalism career at Fortune Magazine in 1995, then moved to Money Magazine in 1996. After three years there, he found he was always looking for the people in the stories and realized the best opportunities for the long-form writing he wanted to pursue were in sports. As a reporter for Sports Illustrated, he had his big breakthrough working on the Danny Almonte Little League baseball age scandal. That was his introduction to “youth sports gone awry." He went on to investigate supplement and steroid use in major league baseball, world champion boxing, the Olympics, and wrestling. When he began talking to the parents of children who had committed suicide while cycling off of steroids, Luis became passionate about the influence of coaches, parents, and professional players on youth athletes.
In this episode, Mathew and Luis discuss the good, bad, and dangerous aspects of youth sports. A child's relationship with sports will shape the rest of their lives. Luis tells us about the importance of being mindful of the sports environments we put children in, the red and green flags to look out for, and the importance of understanding your own sports biography. He also outlines new-school vs. old-school coaching techniques and ways to improve children's relationships with sports while improving their skills holistically and sustainably.
Each person has their own sports biography. Whether you were a star athlete, perpetually on the bench, or avoided organized events like the plague, each parent and coach brings their baggage to the game. Luis stresses that adults must make peace with their history before entering youth sports with their children to avoid projections of expectations, successes, or mistakes. Ego-driven coaching leads youth coaches to be in it to win it at all costs, but there is a new wave of coaches who are reflecting on their roles in kids' lives.
A Good coach utilizes creativity for themselves and their players. Luis says a coach must work on themselves and understand that failure to connect with an athlete does not indicate something is wrong with the kid, but rather that the coach needs to figure out new ways to do their job to get through to them. Coaches have to develop social-emotional intelligence to be able to coach kids with ADHD, social anxiety, hyperaggression, or other neurodivergent tendencies.
Before considering who the coach is, parents must decide when to enter organized sports and how to pursue age-appropriate development. It is counterintuitive, but putting kids in command-oriented organized sports too early can choke off their potential for the creativity that makes a great athlete. Specialization is limiting. If a child is athletic, they will develop better by playing multiple sports. The greats like Wayne Gretzky and Pelé learned on the streets. Luis tells us he has seen the harmful long-term effects of pushing young athletes and implores parents and coaches to hold off on hard training until an appropriate age. He says two ways to improve physical longevity for young athletes are signing them up for a complementary sport during at least one off-season a year and taking time to rest each day and week.
Children need freedom to learn, and amazing things can happen in chaos. However, ego-driven coaches and parents often hesitate to give up control regarding young athletes' training. A coach's role changes throughout different age ranges, but they need to bring general structure, balance, and safety. Luis tells us that free play is essential for ages 3 to 12, as it teaches flexibility, adaptability, and how to deal with other kids socially. These skills stay with kids throughout their entire lives and make them better adults, no matter what path they choose to pursue. Luis says organized sports shouldn't happen until age 11, and even then, it's not the typical league structure with uniforms and championships. For this age, coaching is about demonstrating movement, teaching game skills, creating dynamic practice structures, and providing technical advice. At any age, all coaches need to practice positivity. When pointing out one thing done wrong, make sure to point out three things done right and leave the other issues for the next day.
Luis ends the show with three things parents can be mindful of to help their young athletes:
Take a good look at the coach: Are they ego-driven? Do they coach through negativity or use anger as a tool? Are you afraid of them?
Analyze your own sports biography and mindset: Are you coaching your kids for the right reasons? Why did you put them in sports? Are you too hands-off or living vicariously?
Evaluate the social climate of the team: How do the kids treat each other? How do the parents treat each other and the other kids? Do other coaches or parents organize social activities and include everyone?
You can hear more from Luis through his work with Whole Child Sports or by checking out his books: Beyond Winning: Smart Parenting in a Toxic Sports Environment and Emotionally Resilient Tweens and Teens
In this episode, you'll hear:
What is wrong with youth sports today, and what can be done about it?
Free play and creativity are more beneficial than training and organized sports.
Institutional changes that could improve youth sports and coaching practices 
Follow the podcast: 
Listen on Apple Podcasts (link: https://apple.co/3s1YH7h) 
Listen on iHeart (link: https://ihr.fm/3MEY7FM) 
Listen on Spotify (Link: https://spoti.fi/3yMmQCE) 
 
Resources:
Whole Child Sports
LuisFernandoLlosa.com
Books
 
Connect with Mathew Blades: 
Twitter - twitter.com/MathewBlades
Instagram - instagram.com/MathewBladesmedia/ 
Facebook - facebook.com/mathewbladesmedia/ 
Website - learnfrompeoplewholivedit.com/
 
Additional Credits:
LFPWLI is managed by Sam Robertson