Learn From People Who Lived it

Everything is Fine, but You Are Still Unhappy: Change Your Mindset with Cortney McDermott

Everything is Fine, but You Are Still Unhappy: Change Your Mindset with Cortney McDermott
 
Cortney McDermott is a bestselling author, TEDx speaker, and mind-body expert with a Master of Science from the London School of Economics. She speaks four languages and splits her time between Italy and the US. There was a time in her life when it looked like she had it all, but in reality, she was “miserably successful”. She had a series of “cold shower moments” where she realized that, despite her accomplishments, she was unhappy. She looked around and saw that it didn't seem like anyone around her was feeling fulfilled either. Finding her way out of that space and helping others do the same has become her calling and new career.
 
In this episode, Mathew and Cortney discuss their shared experience of working up to a successful career and then deciding it was time to “blow up what they built''. Approval, appreciation, and crafting an image can be addicting, but it can also make it harder to evaluate if your life is meeting your true needs or just bringing external validation. From a young age, people are given belief systems about who they are, and then they’re expected to stay within those boundaries. In order to find our true paths, Mathew and Cort say we have to rewire those thoughts and escape the pressure of thinking we have to be something special or something other than what we feel called to be. Most people are running around with masks on, playing characters with personas, but Cort tells us we can choose who we are and reinvent ourselves every day. By letting go of what we think people expect us to be, we can access our full potential. Unless you can control your mind, you won't be able to give up trying to control life. Cort and Mathew both describe what it looked like when they let go of control and how they are still working to ride the wave of existence without trying to control the chaos. We do this in an attempt to achieve the illusion of safety, but in reality, all it does is limit us. Letting go doesn't mean you stop caring about things. Rather, you decide to let go of the addiction to caring what people think about you. It means deciding to follow your intuition and finding ways to transition from where you are now to where you want to be. Cortney outlines the science behind shifting your mindset, gives us practical tools on how to get started, and leaves us with her most important piece of advice to help us start the journey.
 
“I am not the belief... that doesn’t have to define me.”
 
In this episode, you'll hear:
What are “cold shower moments,” and what are they trying to tell us?
How are Cortney’s corporate skills applicable to the work she is doing now?
The science behind shifting your mindset and how to hack it 
 
Follow the podcast: 
Listen on Apple Podcasts (link: https://apple.co/3s1YH7h) 
Listen on iHeart (link: https://ihr.fm/3MEY7FM) 
Listen on Spotify (Link: https://spoti.fi/3yMmQCE) 
 
Connect with the Guest
Cortney on Instagram 
Cortney on LinkedIn
 
Resources:
Give Yourself Permission
www.CortneyMcDermott.com
Mathew Blades Mental Health Retreat Debrief 
 
Connect with Mathew Blades: 
Twitter - twitter.com/MathewBlades
Instagram - instagram.com/MathewBladesmedia/ 
Facebook - facebook.com/mathewbladesmedia/ 
Website - learnfrompeoplewholivedit.com/
 
Additional Credits:
LFPWLI is managed by Sam Robertson

Raising Decent Human Beings with Brad Kraay and Jennifer Fink

Raising Decent Human Beings with Brad Kraay and Jennifer Fink
Jennifer L.W. Fink is a mother of four sons, an award-winning freelance journalist, author, and co-host of the podcast On Boys: Real Talk about Parenting, Teaching, and Reaching Tomorrow's Men. She is also the founder and creator of BuildingBoys.net, a website and global community for parents of boys. Brad Kraay is a father of three, the founder and senior partner of Thunderbird Advisors Group, and has spent years doing the work on himself to be the best co-parent he can be.
In this episode, Mathew, Brad, and Jennifer discuss the challenges of raising children while still trying to figure out how to navigate our own lives. Mathew says, “Most people think they are fine until they have children”, to kick off a conversation about the ways our children reflect our insecurities and faults back at us and how we can deal with that in a realistic and constructive way. They may not always listen, but they do always watch. You can say all the right things, but if you don't live them, it probably won't make an impact. The most powerful and effective thing a parent can do is work on their own emotional regulation, normalize the challenges of being a human, and work to overcome them. Jennifer says, “Modeling is the single most powerful parenting tool we have.” Bring them along on your journey of self-improvement, and communicate your feelings and thoughts with them in the way you want them to communicate with you. Getting comfortable with uncomfortable situations will benefit both of you and your kids in the long run and make it easier to navigate the inevitable shifts your relationship will go through. When they are young, children often idolize their parents. In the teen years, they can grow to resent you (and sometimes the feeling is mutual). However, if you keep the deceptively simple goal in mind of raising decent humans, focusing on what really matters, and being your best, they’ll eventually come around again.
“Your genes might reveal where you come from, but your choices determine where you're going to go.”
In this episode, you'll hear:
The societal shift away from imposing stereotypes on boys and why we aren’t completely past it
How do children reflect and magnify our faults and insecurities, and how should we deal with that?
The importance of modeling behavior and self-improvement in parenting
Follow the podcast: 
Listen on Apple Podcasts (link: https://apple.co/3s1YH7h) 
Listen on iHeart (link: https://ihr.fm/3MEY7FM) 
Listen on Spotify (Link: https://spoti.fi/3yMmQCE) 
 
Connect with the Guests:
Brad Kraay on LinkedIn
Thunderbird Group
Jennifer Fink on X
Jennifer Fink on LinkedIn
 
Resources:
JenniferLWFink.com
On Boys podcast
BuildingBoys.net
Building Boys: Raising Great Guys in a World that Misunderstands Males
Love and Logic Parenting Online Course
 
Connect with Mathew Blades: 
Twitter - twitter.com/MathewBlades
Instagram - instagram.com/MathewBladesmedia/ 
Facebook - facebook.com/mathewbladesmedia/ 
Website - learnfrompeoplewholivedit.com/
 
Additional Credits:
LFPWLI is managed by Sam Robertson

You Have Breast Cancer; Now What? with Naturopathic Physician and Survivor, Dr. Kimara Vaughn

You Have Breast Cancer; Now What? with Naturopathic Physician and Survivor, Dr. Kimara Vaughn
Disclaimer: This podcast is not intended to provide medical advice. Consult your doctor before making any decisions regarding your health or treatment.
In this episode, Mathew, Frank, and Dr. Kimara discuss her diagnosis, the importance of early screenings, how naturopathic medicines helped her alongside modern treatments, and her advice to anyone who has been recently diagnosed.
Dr. Kimara is a Naturopathic Physician, a Buddhist, and a cancer survivor who grew up as the only child of a single mother. She knew she wanted to be a doctor by the time she was 5, and after 20 years in the medical field, she became the patient in 2022 when she was diagnosed with breast cancer at age 46. Her doctor immediately told her the cancer was caught early and she wouldn't die from it. She tells us she never felt like her cancer was going to kill her, but instead saw it as her path and began to compile a team of medical professionals to help her through it.
Her advice to other people who are diagnosed with breast cancer is to be patient with all the steps and take care to compile a trusted team: talk to your health insurance, get a therapist, consider adding in alternative medicine options, and identify the people in your life who can be there for you. Dr. Vaughn says to remember that your healing journey is about YOU so do what is best for yourself. Have a good mindset, be invested in your care, control the controllable, and let go of the rest.
“Drop what doesn't serve you.”
“This is my path. I get to live it, live through it... Let’s see how it goes!”
In this episode, you'll hear:
What is a naturopathic physician?
Dr. Kimara’s advice to anyone diagnosed with breast cancer
What homeopathic treatments did Dr. Kimara administer to herself to help her through the mental toll of her treatment?
The role of a therapist for someone diagnosed with cancer
Follow the podcast: 
Listen on Apple Podcasts (link: https://apple.co/3s1YH7h) 
Listen on iHeart (link: https://ihr.fm/3MEY7FM) 
Listen on Spotify (Link: https://spoti.fi/3yMmQCE) 
 
Resources:
Dr. Kimara’s Meridian clinic
 
Connect with Mathew Blades: 
Twitter - twitter.com/MathewBlades
Instagram - instagram.com/MathewBladesmedia/ 
Facebook - facebook.com/mathewbladesmedia/ 
Website - learnfrompeoplewholivedit.com/
 
Additional Credits:
LFPWLI is managed by Sam Robertson

Teen Pregnancy and the Resiliency Needed to Make it Through

Teen Pregnancy and the Resiliency Needed to Make it Through 
In this episode, you'll hear:
What would Andrea do if one of her children entered teen pregnancy?
The toll the reaction from her family and church took on her and how she healed from it
What Andrea thinks leads to teen pregnancy
Where does resilience come from, and how can we foster it?
Andrea Wallen was raised in a Christian household with her brother and two sisters. She was homeschooled, so going to church multiple times a week was her main outlet and something that was very near and dear to her heart. When she was 16 and singing in the church choir, a new face walked in. It was an older boy who would eventually become the father of her first son. Contrary to conventional assumptions, Andrea tells us she believes that if she hadn't been homeschooled, she may not have gotten pregnant so young because she “would have known more” about life.
After she became pregnant, her church told her she was not welcome back because she was a “bad example”. When she told her parents, they offered to help her raise the child but told her if she didn't accept their terms and ever left, she could never come back. Andrea decided she’d rather stay with the father of her children and left home to get married. Shortly after, her son was born. A few months after that, her husband was deployed to Iraq. When he came back, she says he was a whole different person, and there were many scary nights she spent hiding from him due to his struggles with PTSD. Eventually, she left him, and before she was even 21, she began to work multiple jobs to make ends meet.
There was a period of time when her son was a few years old, when they were homeless, living in a hotel, and had no car, when she realized she needed her parents. At that time, her parents were going through a divorce, and like they told her, she was not welcome back. There were moments when she felt like her family was falling apart, and it was her fault. This weight, combined with being told she was a disappointment by her parents and church, took a toll on her self-worth. However, she maintained her faith and tells us now that it was the only thing that gave her hope and set her on solid ground.
Through it all, she just kept going. She lived many years in survival mode, and eventually, her resilience brought her to a life that she says she dreamed of on those nights when she was sleeping in a shed. She tells us it was her son who kept her going. She knew she couldn't let him down, and she had no other option than to make it work.
“Even if your life isn't stable in your living condition, know that you can be their stability. You are their rock. You are what their foundation is going to be when they look back.”
In this episode, you'll hear:
The psychological impact of being pushed out of the church
What would Andrea do if one of her children entered teen pregnancy?
The toll the reaction from her family and church took on her and how she healed from it
Why Andrea hasn't lost her faith and how her relationship with the church is different today
The importance of stable relationships, especially without stable living conditions
What Andrea thinks leads to teen pregnancy
Where does resilience come from, and how can we foster it?
Follow the podcast: 
Listen on Apple Podcasts (link: https://apple.co/3s1YH7h) 
Listen on iHeart (link: https://ihr.fm/3MEY7FM) 
Listen on Spotify (Link: https://spoti.fi/3yMmQCE) 
 
Resources:
Dr. Frank Bevacqua
 
 
Connect with Mathew Blades: 
Twitter - twitter.com/MathewBlades
Instagram - instagram.com/MathewBladesmedia/ 
Facebook - facebook.com/mathewbladesmedia/ 
Website - learnfrompeoplewholivedit.com/
 
Additional Credits:
LFPWLI is managed by Sam Robertson