Learn From People Who Lived it

Is Your Kid Terrified to Go to School? Understanding School Avoidance with Jayne Demsky from School Avoidance Alliance

In this episode, you'll hear:
The difference between typical kid behavior and serious school avoidance issues 
Underlying issues that contribute to school avoidance and how to overcome them 
Do's and don'ts for parents dealing with school avoidance
Jayne Demsky is an advocate, a mother, and the founder of the School of Avoidance Alliance. Jayne's son is now 27, but in 2009, his school avoidance started, and Jayne quickly found there was very little information available, a huge stigma around mental illness, and no help from the educators or administrators at the school. In fact, the pushback from the school was so extreme that she had to hire both an educational advocate and a special education attorney to get her son the help he needed. 
Contrary to popular belief, most children dealing with school avoidance are good students and do not deal with bullying issues, but rather have underlying issues like mental health issues or undiagnosed learning issues. Many kids dealing with school avoidance do not have awareness of the root cause and are unable to articulate why they are uncomfortable going to school, leaving parents and educators to become detectives to identify the reasons. Cognitive behavior therapy is essential to overcoming the issues and reintegrating children into school, but the worsening nationwide mental health crisis and lack of access to mental health professionals leave parents and schools in charge of recognizing and intervening appropriately. 
Over the past ten years, Jayne has been spreading awareness about the issue, helping families and schools navigate and overcome the challenges of school avoidance, and making sure parents know they are not alone in their struggles. 
In this episode, Mathew, Dr. Frank, and Jayne discuss what school avoidance is, how it differs from “just not wanting to go to school," the underlying issues that contribute to it, and how schools and parents must work together to solve these issues for our kids. She outlines what to do and what not to do if your child is having issues with school avoidance, her journey of learning about and navigating school avoidance with her son, and why school empathy is the number one factor determining successful reintegration. 
Follow the podcast: 
Listen on Apple Podcasts (link: https://apple.co/3s1YH7h) 
Listen on iHeart (link: https://ihr.fm/3MEY7FM) 
Listen on Spotify (Link: https://spoti.fi/3yMmQCE) 
Get LFPWLI Merch here!
Resources:
SchoolAvoidance.org 
School Avoidance Masterclass for Parents
School Avoidance Educator Course 
Dr. Frank Bevacqua
Rogers Behavioral Health
School Refusal Assessment Scale-Revised
The Negative Impacts of Youth Sports and What to Do About It with Scott Lancaster 
Connect with Mathew Blades: 
Twitter - twitter.com/MathewBlades
Instagram - instagram.com/MathewBladesmedia/ 
Facebook - facebook.com/mathewbladesmedia/ 
Website - learnfrompeoplewholivedit.com/
Additional Credits:
LFPWLI is managed by Sam Robertson

A New Solution for Gut Issues with Alexander Martinez

In this episode, you'll hear:
Why do certain foods present issues for us at certain times but not others?
How stress impacts our guts and why fermentation is helpful for digestion 
Steps we can take today to help ourselves
Why breastfeeding is so important, and which formulas to use if breastfeeding isn't an option 
Alex Martinez is a father, husband, CEO, chairman, and co-founder of Intrinsic Medicine. He is “an entrepreneur inspired to make a public health impact informed by his own patient journey.” He grew up in the Bronx with an incredibly hard-working Puerto Rican and Dominican family. However, things changed for their family when Alex’s father made it into medical school. Alex was born ill and spent time in the NICU, but despite the odds, his parents never lost hope. Alex’s family followed his father's career around the country, and they landed on a farm where he grew up, learned the value of hard work, and immersed himself in the beauty of nature.
Before founding Intrinsic Medicine, Alex was “putting out fires” at a biotechnology company in California, where he was dealing with potentially fatal side effects in late-stage clinical studies. He decided that the job didn’t align with his values. It began to take a toll on him, so he left to start a different kind of biotech founded upon the ancient “first, do no harm” principles by finding safe, natural compounds that would address the two largest issues at the core of the health issues most people are facing today: immune systems and microbiomes being dysregulated. 
Alex started Intrince Medicine because he needed it first. He had decades-long GI issues, and soon after he founded Intrinsic Medicine in July of 2018, he started having pain every time he ate, leading to the rapid loss of 40 pounds. After some scans and tests, his doctors told him he had a mass in his abdomen attached to his GI system. What started as searching for an ulcer became a potential cancer evaluation. They tried various diagnostic approaches but eventually had to do surgery that resulted in about 2 feet of his bowel being cut out. Weeks after the surgery, Alex was rehospitalized for five days with a bowel impaction that could have been fatal. At the hospital, he was flushed with antibiotics, discharged five days later, and shocked to find that there was no long-term support. He knew then he would have to rebuild his microbiome alone using the very science underlying his new therapeutics. He got some supplement versions of the compounds he intended to develop as drugs and became Patient Zero for Intrinsic Medicine. Alex has been on the compounds ever since and says it has been transformative for him and his IBS. 
Like Alex and many of us, Mathew has also struggled with GI issues throughout his life and shares his experience. He asks why certain foods present issues for certain people but not others and how stress impacts our guts. 70% of the immune system is in the gut, and the gut is connected to the brain, so sometimes what feels good for you one day may not be good the next day, depending on dozens of other factors. Thankfully, Alex gives us some action items we can all start today. Keep a food journal to see where you are, be mindful of your fiber intake, and use the Bristol stool scale to monitor what is happening with your body. Alex wraps up with his take on pre-and probiotics, the research about human milk sugars, and what formula we should use for babies if we cannot breastfeed.
“Know thy poops.”
In this episode, you'll hear:
Why do certain foods present issues for us at certain times but not others?
How stress impacts our guts and why fermentation is helpful for digestion 
Steps we can take today to help ourselves
Why breastfeeding is so important, and which formulas to use if breastfeeding isn't an option 
Get LFPWLI Merch here!
Follow the podcast: 
Listen on Apple Podcasts (link: https://apple.co/3s1YH7h) 
Listen on iHeart (link: https://ihr.fm/3MEY7FM) 
Listen on Spotify (Link: https://spoti.fi/3yMmQCE) 
 
Resources:
IntrinsicMedicine.com 
Bristol Stool Chart
 
Connect with Mathew Blades: 
Twitter - twitter.com/MathewBlades
Instagram - instagram.com/MathewBladesmedia/ 
Facebook - facebook.com/mathewbladesmedia/ 
Website - learnfrompeoplewholivedit.com/
 
Additional Credits:
LFPWLI is managed by Sam Robertson

Surviving a Stalker + EMDR to Take Her Power Back

Surviving a Stalker + EMDR to Take Her Power Back with Candice 
In this episode, you'll hear:
How being sexually molested as a toddler manifested later in her life 
The power of EMDR and meditation for healing and managing emotions 
Why is it so hard to get a stalking conviction, and where to start
The difference between a crazy ex and a stalker: red flags to look out for
When Candice was 16, she started dating a boy who seemed nice enough at first but started to throw up some red flags after a while, like controlling behavior and abnormal jealous reactions. Immediately after Candice broke up with him, he began repeatedly calling her house. Her parents were concerned, but like her, they thought it would end eventually. It didn't take long to realize this was next level with graphic death threats, letters, and unannounced appearances at her house. Eventually, Candice filled her first restraining order and began a journey that would last 23 years. 
Candice tells us her childhood was "average." She had loving middle-class parents, but sadly, her babysitter sexually molested her from ages 2 to 3. She knew it had happened but could not remember, so she thought it wasn’t affecting her, but she was wrong. The repressed trauma developed into irrational fears, anxieties, and physical health issues. Mathew opens up about a similar situation he went through, and they talk about how repressed trauma manifests later in life and how they both learned there is light on the other side. Candice has found that daily meditation and EMDR therapy have helped her regain trust in her intuition and have been the most effective tools for her in managing anxiety. 
Candice has suffered from c-ptsd, depression, and anxiety, along with a host of other issues, as a result of the stalking and the aftermath of navigating the justice system. However, she tells us she has found hope in healing, growth, and self-discovery through years of EMDR and trauma-focused therapy. EMDR stands for eye movement desensitization and reprocessing and involves moving your eyes in a specific way while you process traumatic memories to help you heal from trauma. Many of us become “emotional stuffers," but eventually, you or the people around you will have to deal with it. Through EMDR, Candice gained a sense of self-awareness that living in fight or flight isn't normal, that her trauma was impacting her physical health, and that there are tools to help her deal with triggers in a healthier way. When every day is about surviving, no one, not even you, can get the best version of yourself. Her trauma caused her never to feel safe and never feel good enough, but through therapy, she has been able to dig deep, get to the root of those limiting beliefs, and challenge them. 
Unfortunately, internal demons are not the only ones she has had to battle over the years. People who stalk are after power and control. Her stalker is mentally ill and has progressively gotten worse over the years. He wasn't like that when she met him, but still, she has experienced a lot of victim blaming around why she dated him in the first place and what she did to him to cause this. She has also found that navigating the criminal justice system is extremely difficult, especially for stalking victims. Candice says meticulously collecting evidence and finally accepting help from the services available are what finally enabled her to get him convicted and sentenced to prison on aggravated stalking charges after ten years. Thankfully, her family and friends have been supportive over the years. However, balancing safety with taking her power back and putting herself first has been a struggle and an ongoing process.
Today, at 40, Candice is here to share her experience with the trauma she’s been through, her healing process, and the therapies and treatments that have worked for her to give hope to crime victims, victims of domestic violence, and anyone who goes through prolonged trauma. Finally, she feels safe, has taken her power back, and has stepped into her true self. 
“It is not an easy journey, but you don't stay in that place.”
Get LFPWLI Merch here!
Follow the podcast: 
Listen on Apple Podcasts (link: https://apple.co/3s1YH7h) 
Listen on iHeart (link: https://ihr.fm/3MEY7FM) 
Listen on Spotify (Link: https://spoti.fi/3yMmQCE) 
 
Resources:
Stalking Victim Connect Resource Center
 
Connect with Mathew Blades: 
Twitter - twitter.com/MathewBlades
Instagram - instagram.com/MathewBladesmedia/ 
Facebook - facebook.com/mathewbladesmedia/ 
Website - learnfrompeoplewholivedit.com/
 
Additional Credits:
LFPWLI is managed by Sam Robertson

A PCP-Laced Brownie Changed Her Whole Life with Ruth Poniarski

A PCP-Laced Brownie Changed Her Whole Life with Ruth Poniarski
In this episode, Mathew and Ruth discuss the impact of unknowingly ingesting a hallucinogenic substance while already in a bad mental state, the long-term impacts, her recovery journey, and where she is today.
Ruth Poniarski is here to share her story of surviving a devastating mental illness that stemmed from a PCP-laced brownie. In 1977, Ruth was in her fourth year of a five-year architectural program and struggling with extremely low self-esteem. She was in a bad place and felt isolated when she met an older man. He invited her to an intimate college party and gave her a brownie laced with PCP (angel dust), leading to a series of life-threatening nervous breakdowns that caused her to leave college and seek out psychological help. This led to a multi-year uphill battle to find relief from anxiety, depression, mania, and severe insomnia. She never gave up, and eventually, she found the right psychologist for her, was prescribed the proper medication, and broke the cycle. She has not had a breakdown since 2010.
In this episode, you'll hear:
What led Ruth to the party where she was drugged?
Finding the proper treatment and how art helped Ruth recover
Why are hallucinogens positive for some people and negative for others?
Ruth's advice to anyone who is struggling today 
Get LFPWLI Merch here!
Follow the podcast: 
Listen on Apple Podcasts (link: https://apple.co/3s1YH7h) 
Listen on iHeart (link: https://ihr.fm/3MEY7FM) 
Listen on Spotify (Link: https://spoti.fi/3yMmQCE) 
Resources:
RuthPoniarski.com 
Journey of the Self: Memoir of an Artist by Ruth Poniarski
Connect with Mathew Blades: 
Twitter - twitter.com/MathewBlades
Instagram - instagram.com/MathewBladesmedia/ 
Facebook - facebook.com/mathewbladesmedia/ 
Website - learnfrompeoplewholivedit.com/
 
Additional Credits:
LFPWLI is managed by Sam Robertson