Monday Nov 06, 2023

Raising Decent Human Beings with Brad Kraay and Jennifer Fink

Raising Decent Human Beings with Brad Kraay and Jennifer Fink

Jennifer L.W. Fink is a mother of four sons, an award-winning freelance journalist, author, and co-host of the podcast On Boys: Real Talk about Parenting, Teaching, and Reaching Tomorrow's Men. She is also the founder and creator of BuildingBoys.net, a website and global community for parents of boys. Brad Kraay is a father of three, the founder and senior partner of Thunderbird Advisors Group, and has spent years doing the work on himself to be the best co-parent he can be.

In this episode, Mathew, Brad, and Jennifer discuss the challenges of raising children while still trying to figure out how to navigate our own lives. Mathew says, “Most people think they are fine until they have children”, to kick off a conversation about the ways our children reflect our insecurities and faults back at us and how we can deal with that in a realistic and constructive way. They may not always listen, but they do always watch. You can say all the right things, but if you don't live them, it probably won't make an impact. The most powerful and effective thing a parent can do is work on their own emotional regulation, normalize the challenges of being a human, and work to overcome them. Jennifer says, “Modeling is the single most powerful parenting tool we have.” Bring them along on your journey of self-improvement, and communicate your feelings and thoughts with them in the way you want them to communicate with you. Getting comfortable with uncomfortable situations will benefit both of you and your kids in the long run and make it easier to navigate the inevitable shifts your relationship will go through. When they are young, children often idolize their parents. In the teen years, they can grow to resent you (and sometimes the feeling is mutual). However, if you keep the deceptively simple goal in mind of raising decent humans, focusing on what really matters, and being your best, they’ll eventually come around again.

“Your genes might reveal where you come from, but your choices determine where you're going to go.”

In this episode, you'll hear:

  • The societal shift away from imposing stereotypes on boys and why we aren’t completely past it
  • How do children reflect and magnify our faults and insecurities, and how should we deal with that?
  • The importance of modeling behavior and self-improvement in parenting

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